A rule is just a decision you already made when you were calm.
By 5:15 on a Tuesday you have already made about four hundred decisions and you have nothing left. That is why what is for dinner is such a hard question at that hour and such an easy one on Sunday afternoon.
So make five decisions once, out loud, in front of everybody, and then leave them alone until the last game. Tacos on Tuesday. Plates go in the dishwasher. Nobody negotiates the car snack.
The kids stop asking within about ten days, and that silence at a quarter past five is the entire payoff.
Tuesday is tacos and it is not up for discussion
One named food on one named night removes the biggest recurring question of the week. Ours is tacos, because the meat is the same every time and the toppings let everybody build their own.
Somebody will complain in week two. By week five they are asking whether it is Tuesday, which is a completely different tone.
Rules that earn their place
Five is about the limit. More than that and nobody remembers them, including you, and a rule nobody remembers is just another thing to argue about.
- One named dinner on one named night.
- Your plate goes in the dishwasher, not the sink. Everyone, every time.
- Water bottles get filled before bed, not in the morning.
- The car snack is whatever is in the door pocket and it is not discussed.
- You do not have to eat it, but the kitchen is closed after.
You do not have to like it, and the kitchen closes at eight
You will be kindest here when you are also firmest. Nobody is made to eat anything, and nobody gets a second dinner cooked to order at 8:40 because they skipped the first one.
There is bread, there is fruit, there is cereal. Any of those is available. A different hot meal is not.
Say the rule once, in daylight
A rule announced at 5:40 in the middle of a fight is not a rule, it is a punishment, and kids hear the difference immediately.
Say it on Sunday at the table when nothing is happening. Write it on the whiteboard. Then at 5:40 you get to point instead of argue.
The rules you should break
Somebody made the team. Somebody had a terrible day. It is the last Friday of the season and it is seventy degrees out.
Break every one of them and say out loud that you are breaking them. A rule you can suspend on purpose is a rule that survives the season. A rule that has never bent gets thrown out entirely in week nine.
Tonight
Six dinners that hold up on a night like this
Quesadilla plate plus fruit
One pan, ten minutes. Half goes down before practice and the rest waits on the counter for when they walk back in starving.
Rice bowl bar
Rice, chicken or beans, cucumbers, cheese, sauce cups. Everyone builds their own, so the kid who hates anything touching gets a clean plate.
Soup cup with bread
Pour it into a thermos before you leave. Whoever sits down at 7:40 still gets it hot, and you washed one pot.
Breakfast tacos
You can scramble eggs and warm tortillas in less time than a drive-thru line, and it runs about a dollar a kid.
Freezer burrito backup
Move one to the fridge in the morning. Write the reheat time on the foil and the hardest part of the night is already done.
Pasta box with sauce separate
Use penne or rotini so it holds its shape. The sauce rides in its own cup and nothing goes soggy on the way over.
Next useful move
Use the practice calculator
Punch in tonight's times and see whether dinner belongs before practice, after, or packed for the road.